Umbra&Matrix

[hoglolly]

Character

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Name: Umbra Elizabeth Ward

Age: 12

Gender: Female

Pokemorph: None

Appearance: Has short black hair that she prefers to keep under a hat. Her eyes are dark green. She is thin and more on the shorter side. Always has her bag with her and never wears long sleaves, even in winter.

Personality: Often described as a tomboy. Umbra is a born fallower. She has a hard time making desicions and will useally go along with anything. pretty easy to please. She is sometimes rude even when she isn't trying to be, especialy to new people. Her greatest fear is what people think about her.

History: Umbra was born and raised on her parents ranch. As a little girl she always loved to play with the pokemon at the ranch but never bothered to get her own. She lived outside of the city so she didn't hang out with people vey much except at school. On her free time Umbra did alot of exploring.

One day she found an Evee egg and took it as her responsibility to care for it. Once it had grown up she gave it to a friend that wanted to start travling. She loved that she found the evee a new home but she felt a new joy from raising the pokemon. She decided she wanted to be a trainer too. The next day she packed all her stuff and left home. Every Winter she comes home to work at the ranch and spend Christmas with her family.

Career: Umbra is a Trainer. She is also a part time ranch worker.

The Daemon

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Name: Matrix

Form (If settled): Umbreon

Appearance: A regular looking umbreon

Personality: Matrix is quiet. He rarely talks to anyone but Umbra. That doesn't mean he is shy though. Matrix dislikes to battle but is always showing off. Like umbra he is a born fallower.

[Birdybot]

I can give this a Very Common, just. You need to seriously improve your grammar. You need to put capital letters at the beginning of sentences and for names. Plus, your personality section isn't even written in full sentences! For example this sentence 'hates change.' Firstly, hates need a capital letter. Nextly, it should be a full sentence 'She hates change'. Then you could explain why, what sorts of change, and so on.

Also, your signiture is pretty huge. Thanks for not stretching the page, but it's too long for my liking. It's not too hard to shorten it.

Thanks for joining, Umbra has the makings of a very good, balanced character, but could do with a lot of improvement if you want a good rating.

[hoglolly]

Ok thank you. I fixed those things. Is there anything else?

[Birdybot]

Nope, that's it, other than a few spelling errors, but that doesn't matter so much. I can't change the rating, since it still doesn't give her much depth and so on, so you won't be able to get a starter other than the Very Commons unless you edit. If you're fine with the rating you've got, though, just start your lab thread and I'll move this.